Watchdog - Week of the Beast (666)

In the immortal words of Saint Mel, the Lord has given me this Fifteen (crash) - Ten Commandments!

"And the meek shall inherit the earth" Gospel According to St Matthew 5:5- The Mighty E-Head. Suddenly it seems that Peyton had not 15 commandments, but 2 knee surgeries. Is that a miracle? Where did the second surgery come from? Is that like Jesus feeding 5000 with a few fish and a loaf of bread? In any case, going against the #1 defense in the league and watching their top two RBs get injured, the Colts pasted the Ravens and suddenly, the E-Head don't seem quite so meek.

"Be thou either hot or cold, the lukewarm I shall spit out of my mouth" - John the Revelator 3:15 - we have 9 teams out of 14 with 3 losses out of 6 games. It doesn't get any more tepid than that! That said, there are those that run hot and cold (Dale's Doormats) and end up 3-3, and those than run extremely cold, followed by extremely hot (Hundering Turd follows up a 3 game losing streak to start the season with a 3 game winning streak. Or you have Gumpsters, Fatties, Pep & Cheezes, Wombats & Bandits who are all on 1 game winning or losing streaks.

"Pride goes before destruction" - Proverbs 16:18. Put another way by none other than Rockies manager Clint Hurdle: "There are two kinds of people in this game, those who have been humbled and those who are about to be." On the prideful side, you have the Mavs ripping off their fourth straight win. On the humbling side, they are 13th in the league in points scored, winning this week 55-49. As Steve Martin once said, "What's the key to a joke timing."

"I have let you see it, but you will not cross over there" - Deuteronomy 34:3-4. For the Killer Ds, who wandered like Moses in the desert for 40 years, then unexpectedly tied for high points for the week and finally started showing the way to the Promised Land, only to have it fall apart on Tony Romo's pinkie finger. I know, "so sad, too bad." But the pain! One game out of a playoff spot and I fear that's as close as the Ds will get.

"And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead; and the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell upon his face to the earth." 1 Samuel 17:49 - And thus was the last undefeated team put to the ground, much like the mighty G-men last night, slain by the upstart Believelanders. Parenthetically, this is one of my favorite parts of "Hoosiers" as well. The quote breaks down a little in this case because Semi-R is still the only team with better than a 4-2 record and has a 2-game lead on the entire rest of the Canes Division. But with Westbrook and now Fragile Fred down with injuries, and Isaac "the reverend" Bruce and Ocho Stinko at WR, I still say they've over-performed the first 6 weeks.

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... Book of Armaments 2:9-21

And so it shall come to pass that the Mighty E-Head, Red Bandits, BYOB, Semi-R, Gumpsters and Doormats shall smite their enemies and therefore they shall maketh the Enchilda Bowl and there shall be much rejoicing. And for the rest, there shall be much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Because really, what else can one gnash? Or gnosh for that matter. Hmm... is it time for a smackerel of something?