Long, long ago in a football stadium far, far away….
Fantasy Wars IV – A New Hope
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. On the waiver wire, Team Gump “won” Lance Moore with a bid of $50. Team Turd “won” LeRon McLain with a bid of $41. And Pep & Cheez won Bobby Engram with a bid of $10. So why does the one guy I’ve heard of go for the least money and why is he the only one no one else bid for?
By the way, does anyone else ever look at Carrie Fischer now and go “Hey wait? Was she supposed to be hot at one time?” No, me neither…. Speaking of people that were supposed to be hot at one time, the Killer Ds fall to 1-3, getting waxed by the Doormats. Once again, they have underestimated the power of the Dark Side, leaving Ryan Grant and his weak hamstring in and putting young Jedi Chris “Skywalker” Johnson on the bench – a 17 point swing in a 14 point game. And for the third time in four weeks the Evil Empire, er, Dale’s Doormats, crushes all opposition. So if Dale is Darth Vader, I guess I’m Carrie Fischer in this analogy? Not sure I was headed there when I started this paragraph… Parenthetically, you can purchase the following on the Star Wars official website for a mere $54.99 (not to be confused with the R2-D2 Shampoo Bottle). It’s “perfect for Halloween Parties and “Other Special Occasions”. Nudge nudge, wink wink!
Fantasy Wars IV – A New Hope
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. On the waiver wire, Team Gump “won” Lance Moore with a bid of $50. Team Turd “won” LeRon McLain with a bid of $41. And Pep & Cheez won Bobby Engram with a bid of $10. So why does the one guy I’ve heard of go for the least money and why is he the only one no one else bid for?
By the way, does anyone else ever look at Carrie Fischer now and go “Hey wait? Was she supposed to be hot at one time?” No, me neither…. Speaking of people that were supposed to be hot at one time, the Killer Ds fall to 1-3, getting waxed by the Doormats. Once again, they have underestimated the power of the Dark Side, leaving Ryan Grant and his weak hamstring in and putting young Jedi Chris “Skywalker” Johnson on the bench – a 17 point swing in a 14 point game. And for the third time in four weeks the Evil Empire, er, Dale’s Doormats, crushes all opposition. So if Dale is Darth Vader, I guess I’m Carrie Fischer in this analogy? Not sure I was headed there when I started this paragraph… Parenthetically, you can purchase the following on the Star Wars official website for a mere $54.99 (not to be confused with the R2-D2 Shampoo Bottle). It’s “perfect for Halloween Parties and “Other Special Occasions”. Nudge nudge, wink wink!
I don’t know if Semi-R, now running their record to 4-0, would equate to Luke, or even Han Solo. Not with a team of Kurt Warner, who had hands down the worst 470-yard, 3-TD game in the history of the NFL, College Football and Pop Warner, Fragile Fred Taylor and three other running backs who didn’t play. No, I look at SR as more of the kind of warrior that flies under the radar screen – I’m talking about none other than Red Two, Captain Wedge Antilles. Trivia time – Wedge is the only other X-Wing fighter besides Luke to make it through all three of the original Star Wars movies. So there you go!
The Gumpsters, much like the Killer Ds, left a few points on the bench – in fact almost enough to win the game outright, had they had a bizzarro lineup in. Any one of Matt Schaub, Derrick Mason or Bucs D would have been enough to win and all three would have put them at 117 points on the week. Tough Trivia Time – I will offer $5 of the Killer D’s waiver wire money to whatever team can identify the following actor, seen here in the Empire Strikes Back:
Once you get that, you will know who the Gumpsters remind me of this week.
For the Fatties and the Turd, a 69-51 pounding inflicted by the Turd, I can only think that the following scene encapsulates the entire battle:
The Gumpsters, much like the Killer Ds, left a few points on the bench – in fact almost enough to win the game outright, had they had a bizzarro lineup in. Any one of Matt Schaub, Derrick Mason or Bucs D would have been enough to win and all three would have put them at 117 points on the week. Tough Trivia Time – I will offer $5 of the Killer D’s waiver wire money to whatever team can identify the following actor, seen here in the Empire Strikes Back:
Once you get that, you will know who the Gumpsters remind me of this week.
For the Fatties and the Turd, a 69-51 pounding inflicted by the Turd, I can only think that the following scene encapsulates the entire battle:
“I see your Schwartz is a big as mine!”
In the Canes Division, the defending Champs were looking a little old, a little ragged, running out a team that, again was outplayed by their bench. So I turn to Master Yoda, who for all his strength in the Force, utterly failed to see really any of the future from Episode One all the way through.
Nevertheless, when cornered, the little guy was not someone you’d want to mess with.
Nevertheless, when cornered, the little guy was not someone you’d want to mess with.
And Team Brokerage – yes, they are cunning and fierce, but ultimately doomed to be eaten by the ravenous Saarlac Beast – in this case having to start JTO or Jon Kitna for the next 9 weeks. A long, slow death to be sure…
On the other hand, we had a battle for first place in the Quakes division, with BYOB besting the Wombats. Not much to say here – 7 of the teams in the league scored between 71 and 79 and two of them played each other. Other than BYOB at 3-1 and the Mighty E-Head at 0-4, the entire division is 2-2. So to Coach Haas, mighty and strong as you are, I say you are:
(though not quite as hairy)
(though not quite as hairy)
And to the rest of the division, I say you are:
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