Watchdog - Week Jive Alive!

In honor of our first tie of the season, we'll do a little shuckin' and jivin' with the good folks from Airplane!

Red Bandits & Wombats continue the mediocrity, running their records to 2-2-1:

Coach Rom: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?

Coach Sharp: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.

Coach Rom: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?

Coach Sharp: UH...

Coach Rom: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.

Coach Sharp: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.

Coach Rom: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.

Coach Rom, Coach Sharp: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em

Coach Rom: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

For the Killer D's, at 1-4, it can only be the following exchange:

Coach Morrison: Coach Ingrey, you're a co-owner of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?

Coach Ingrey: No.

Mighty E-Head gets off the Schnied in a big way!

Coach Eickhorst: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

For Semi-R, who ran their record to 5-0, the only team in the league with better than a 3-2 record, the hard part becomes how to land this thing:

Coach King: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

I was struggling with who to give this one to, but I think it has to be the Mavs, featuring Jonathan Stewart:

Watchdog: Would you like something to read?

Coach Lucking: Do you have anything light?

Watchdog: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

For the defending champion Sprockets, who got high points for the week, it has to be this:

Coach Feldman: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

Coach Fisher: When will you be back?

Coach Feldman: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

Team Brokerage's torture continues with the choice between Kitna and JTO. I suggest they go with the lasagna:

Coach Lubert: What was it we had for dinner tonight?

Coach Stier: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.

Coach Lubert: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

For Dale's Doormats, the streak continues in which they either get high score for the week or lose to an inferior team (sorry Kevin...) and as is many times the case with a top-notch athlete such as Coach Dale, it comes down to simple execution:

Coach Dale: I've got to concentrate... [his thoughts echo]

Coach Dale: concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...

And for the Fatties, who once again are in the top five in the league in scoring for the week and take an "L" and left 32 points on the bench win DeAngelo Williams:

Coach Flasinski: Johnny, what can you make out of this? [Hands him the weather briefing]

Coach Madden: This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl...

And last but surely not least, for those teams (Semi-R and Mighty E) who STILL have not paid their dues, you will risk getting evicted from the league for next season.

Delinquint Coaches: Surely you can't be serious.

Watchdog: well, you know....