Well folks, you asked for it, you got it. We're back to the short season for Fantasy Football. Hardly seems possible, but we're already down to just two weeks to go. So with that in mind, the Watchdog will re-revisit the Department of Redudancy Department and re-review our pre-playoff preview.
In the Quakes Division, otherwise known as the cream-puff division, BYOB locked up the division with its 6th straight win, this over the vaunted Semi-R, and while Marion "Clubber Lang" Barber of the controversial firesale, provided the winning margin, it should be noted that Justin Fargas would also have sufficed. What lies ahead? Sprockets & Gumpsters provide tune-up and a chance to make up 31 points on the Doormats' total points lead.
For the Mavs, an NFL record-setting QB performance by Tom Br - er Matt Cassel - the first QB ever to pass for 400 yards and run for 60 in the same game - provided nearly half their points for the week. The good news is that they edged the Ds, the better news is that Larry Johnson and Jonathan Stewart along with TJ Houshmanshdoiwehr look like they'll provide enough depth to get this team into the playoffs. Key games remaing against the Turd and the Doormats, both in the log-jam of teams fighting for a playoff spot in the Canes Division.
The Wombats lay the wood to the Hundering Turd and also led the way for the Eagles-Bengals debacle. Their 5-5-1 record provides a half-game lead on the Fatties and a 1 1/2 game lead on the E-Head and P&C. Games remain against the Doormats and Semi-P though, so the Bats will have their work cut out for them. 6-6-1 will be a good result.
That could leave the door open for the Fatties, who for the second time this year have tied for the most points for the week. QB play could be a problem spot for them, but with Gore, Turner and DeAngelo Williams, they have enough RB to be competitive. Games remain against Brokerage and the Ds, so it will be a tall order to win both.
The Mighty E-Head's playoff hunt took a huge hit this week after putting up the 3rd highest point total of the week and coming up with a loss. With games left against Semi-R and the Sprockets, they need to win both and have two of the Mavs, Wombats or Fatties lose both their remaining games.
Pep & Cheez may be playing for draft position by now. Oh yes, that's randomly drawn. Well, with a 45-point "effort" and their fourth straight loss, P&C has games against the Gumpsters and Brokerage and needs to win both and have three of the four teams above them on this list lose both their games. With just 702 points scored on the season, it evokes the famous locker room rant of the coach in Bull Durham: "How'd we ever win 4?" "It's a miracle."
For the Red Bandits and Killer Ds, it is officially "wait til next year" time.
In the Canes Division, Semi-P has a 1 game lead on Brokerage and a 2 game lead on three other teams, but is actually 5th in the division in points scored, so if they fail to win either of their last two games, or pick up at least 5 points on the Turd or Gumpsters, they may yet miss the playoffs. With games against the Mighty E-Head and Wombats remaining, things will not get any easier. I say they get into the playoffs, but fail to clinch the division.
Brokerage, just one back, host the Fatties and travel to Pep & Cheez. A playoff spot seems likely, particularly as they are one of only three teams in the league with more than 900 points, so even a split of remaining games should get them in. A sweep and they'll have a good shot at the division as well.
Dale's Doormats get their fourth high points (tied this time). With the Wombats and Mavs still to play, they'll have to earn it. They are tied with the Turd and Gumpsters and just one up on the Sprockets. The Romo trade netted them one point over starting Eli, while Ryan Grant didn't crack the starting lineup this week. Imagine if Dale had a tight end instead of just Wide Receivers?
Turd has the Mavs & Bandits left. Looks like 7-6 won't do it, so they'll need to win 'em both. They finally took a loss with Brees in the starting lineup but left Marvin Harrison on the bench in place of Lee Evans and that was the difference in the game against the Bats. Well, that and the Bats leaving MJD on the bench in place of Hightower. Saints have Green Bay and Tampa Bay the next two weeks, so Brees will not be able to carry this team. But with Jacobs and Giants K and D, they may have enough supporting players to get it done.
The Gumpsters have a winnable one against Pep & Cheez and then play the tough BYOBers also needed to win both and get some help. Their star, Adrian AD Peterson has games the next two weeks against Jacksonville and Chicago, two teams that play the run decently. I don't think they'll have enough this year.
And last but not DLF we have the Sprockets, who earned a hard-fought 59-45 win over P&C to stay on life-support. The defending champs need wins against BYOB and the Mighty E-Head to have any chance.
I hate to say it - mostly because it lacks any sizzle - but I think the teams currently holding playoff spots will be the ones holding them in two weeks, with the only change being Brokerage edging Semi-R for the division title in the Canes Division.
Please note the Thursday game again this week - Cincy v Pittsburgh. I never re-set the trading deadline from last season, so it still says December 14. Let's make it this Thursday, game-time.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Watchdog 10 - Do It Again (for the first time?)
For those about to rock, we salute you! And the first two teams the Watchdog will salute today are BYOB and Semi-R, each at 8-2 now and essentially both have wrapped up a playoff spot. One win in the last three games will secure the first round bye for SR, while BYOB has already locked that up too. Before we get to saluting each team, I want to take time out for a quick note of a different tone:
"I was born by the river, under a little tent, and just like the river I've been running ever since, it's been a long time coming but I know a change gonna come." I don't want to get all political up in here, but I just want to take a minute and acknowledge what happened last week. If you've ever seen the movie "Talk To Me" when Martin Luther King gets assassinated and Don Cheadle's character plays this song - as a country, we have come a long, long, long way. That's all I have to say about that.
"When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all, but I know my lack of education hasn't hurt me none, I can read the writing on the wall." Semi-R - not really sure how this relates to Semi-R, but it is one of my favorite lines in any rock song ever and I had to put it in here somewhere. Anyway, the writing on the wall tells me Semi-R is headed to the Enchilada!
"I can't complain but sometimes I still do, life's been good to me so far." - Team Brokerage of course, who despite their complaining pulled to within 19 points of Dale's Doormats for high points for the season and have an inside track on the second seed in the tough Canes division. Led by Cutler, Forte and Tony Gonzalez, they're looking like a Mazerati doing 185.
"I want to kill, kill, kill! KILL! I want to see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth! Eat death & burnt bodies, I mean kill! And the seargent came over pinned a medal on me said 'you're our boy'." Hundering Turd, who according to Coach Ken are 0-4 without Drew Brees and 6-0 with him in the lineup. Clearly, he's their boy. I'd confirm this stat, buy my fact-checker was recently let go due to budgetary reasons.
"Sometimes you're the Louisville Slugger, sometimes you're the ball, sometimes it all comes together, sometimes you're going to lose it all." Fatties have nearly matched Dale's record, winning high points out-right once, tying once and this week missing by 1 point, yet they find themselves with just four wins on the season. With games remaining against Gump, Brokerage and the Ds, they may need to run the table to assure a playoff spot. Two out of three ain't bad, but it may not be enough...
"Just looking into your eyes, I can tell you have the legs of a dancer." Mighty E-Head - when I look at this team on paper, they look mahvelous. Peyton, Andre Johnson, Randy Moss, Steve Slaton, Dallas Clark, Dolphins D, but Coach Dennis, don't be a shnook, it's not how they look, it's how they play. Do you understand the term 'full-grown midget'? Must be me.
"Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight." Pep & Cheez may as well Wang Chung tonight, they are 88 points behind the Mavs for 13th place in points scored, but 1/2 game out of a playoff berth. However they recently said they'd be fine with Delhomme and Hasselback at QB, declining a trade to upgrade.
"And she opened up a book of poems and handed it to me written by an Italian poet from the 13th century, and every one of those words rang true and burned like glowing coals, pouring off of every page like it was written in my soul from me to you, tangled up in blue." - Team Gump - seems like destiny, or at least deja vu, which is completely appropriate for the Gumpsters, not only for their ability to get to the post season almost every year, but also for their legendary drafting prowess.
"I was 18, didn't have a care, working for peanuts, not a dime to spare, I was lean and solid everywhere, like a rock." - BYOBs have McNabb (tied for 8th in points for QBs), T Jones, Bush and Barber (4th, 14th and 5th in points for RBs respectively), S Moss, Cal Johnson (4th and 6th in points for WRs respectively), Witten (tied 3rd in points for TE), Ravens D (2nd in points for D) and Akers (2nd in points for K) - that is solid everywhere.
"Is this the world we created, we made it all our own? Is this the world we devestated, right to the bone? If there's a God looking down from up above, what must He think of what we've done to the world that He created?" - Killer Ds - by the way, my guys are 3 for 3 in outscoring the guys we traded so far, and my team is 0-3. Maybe they just weren't that good?
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need." - Mavs continue to run 13th in points scored and have a full game lead on three would-be playoff teams. Mick was right: they may not score what they want, but they score what they need.
"If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it, is that the reason behind all this time and sand? If it comes too quick I may not recongnize it, is that the reason behind all this time and sand?" Dale's Doormats have finally won a couple games in which they didn't score high points for the week. Still clinging to high points for the week and now they get Romo back. Will he lead them to the Promised Land?
"If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, born under a bad sign." Sprockets are DFL in points against, sitting in 6th place, closer to the Ds than to a playoff spot. Ouch.
"Last thing I remember, I was running for the door, I had to find the passage back to the place I was before. Relax said the night man, we are programmed to receive, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave." the Red Bandits desperately need Tomlinson to find the passage back to the player he was before. With Rogers, Mewelde Moore, Welker, Cooley, Jets D and John Kasay, they have the ability to make up the 1 game that separates them from a playoff spot - if Tomlinson regains form. Tough 1-point loss to Gump this week and the decision to bench Welker for Greg Camarillo may come back to haunt the Bandits.
"I don't know if she's loving somebody, I only know it isn't mine." Wombats currently have half a game lead on 3 teams and a 1 game lead on the Bandits, but when three of their top 6 scorers for the year are all WRs and two of the other 6 are QBs, it tends to point to a lop-sided team. I know I love their bodies, I only know I don't love their team.
By the way, for those of you who doubted the assessment of the relative strengths of the two divisions, the Quakes division has one team with more than 786 points - the Canes Division has 5 with more than 800 points.
"I was born by the river, under a little tent, and just like the river I've been running ever since, it's been a long time coming but I know a change gonna come." I don't want to get all political up in here, but I just want to take a minute and acknowledge what happened last week. If you've ever seen the movie "Talk To Me" when Martin Luther King gets assassinated and Don Cheadle's character plays this song - as a country, we have come a long, long, long way. That's all I have to say about that.
"When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all, but I know my lack of education hasn't hurt me none, I can read the writing on the wall." Semi-R - not really sure how this relates to Semi-R, but it is one of my favorite lines in any rock song ever and I had to put it in here somewhere. Anyway, the writing on the wall tells me Semi-R is headed to the Enchilada!
"I can't complain but sometimes I still do, life's been good to me so far." - Team Brokerage of course, who despite their complaining pulled to within 19 points of Dale's Doormats for high points for the season and have an inside track on the second seed in the tough Canes division. Led by Cutler, Forte and Tony Gonzalez, they're looking like a Mazerati doing 185.
"I want to kill, kill, kill! KILL! I want to see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth! Eat death & burnt bodies, I mean kill! And the seargent came over pinned a medal on me said 'you're our boy'." Hundering Turd, who according to Coach Ken are 0-4 without Drew Brees and 6-0 with him in the lineup. Clearly, he's their boy. I'd confirm this stat, buy my fact-checker was recently let go due to budgetary reasons.
"Sometimes you're the Louisville Slugger, sometimes you're the ball, sometimes it all comes together, sometimes you're going to lose it all." Fatties have nearly matched Dale's record, winning high points out-right once, tying once and this week missing by 1 point, yet they find themselves with just four wins on the season. With games remaining against Gump, Brokerage and the Ds, they may need to run the table to assure a playoff spot. Two out of three ain't bad, but it may not be enough...
"Just looking into your eyes, I can tell you have the legs of a dancer." Mighty E-Head - when I look at this team on paper, they look mahvelous. Peyton, Andre Johnson, Randy Moss, Steve Slaton, Dallas Clark, Dolphins D, but Coach Dennis, don't be a shnook, it's not how they look, it's how they play. Do you understand the term 'full-grown midget'? Must be me.
"Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight." Pep & Cheez may as well Wang Chung tonight, they are 88 points behind the Mavs for 13th place in points scored, but 1/2 game out of a playoff berth. However they recently said they'd be fine with Delhomme and Hasselback at QB, declining a trade to upgrade.
"And she opened up a book of poems and handed it to me written by an Italian poet from the 13th century, and every one of those words rang true and burned like glowing coals, pouring off of every page like it was written in my soul from me to you, tangled up in blue." - Team Gump - seems like destiny, or at least deja vu, which is completely appropriate for the Gumpsters, not only for their ability to get to the post season almost every year, but also for their legendary drafting prowess.
"I was 18, didn't have a care, working for peanuts, not a dime to spare, I was lean and solid everywhere, like a rock." - BYOBs have McNabb (tied for 8th in points for QBs), T Jones, Bush and Barber (4th, 14th and 5th in points for RBs respectively), S Moss, Cal Johnson (4th and 6th in points for WRs respectively), Witten (tied 3rd in points for TE), Ravens D (2nd in points for D) and Akers (2nd in points for K) - that is solid everywhere.
"Is this the world we created, we made it all our own? Is this the world we devestated, right to the bone? If there's a God looking down from up above, what must He think of what we've done to the world that He created?" - Killer Ds - by the way, my guys are 3 for 3 in outscoring the guys we traded so far, and my team is 0-3. Maybe they just weren't that good?
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need." - Mavs continue to run 13th in points scored and have a full game lead on three would-be playoff teams. Mick was right: they may not score what they want, but they score what they need.
"If it comes too quick, I may not appreciate it, is that the reason behind all this time and sand? If it comes too quick I may not recongnize it, is that the reason behind all this time and sand?" Dale's Doormats have finally won a couple games in which they didn't score high points for the week. Still clinging to high points for the week and now they get Romo back. Will he lead them to the Promised Land?
"If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, born under a bad sign." Sprockets are DFL in points against, sitting in 6th place, closer to the Ds than to a playoff spot. Ouch.
"Last thing I remember, I was running for the door, I had to find the passage back to the place I was before. Relax said the night man, we are programmed to receive, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave." the Red Bandits desperately need Tomlinson to find the passage back to the player he was before. With Rogers, Mewelde Moore, Welker, Cooley, Jets D and John Kasay, they have the ability to make up the 1 game that separates them from a playoff spot - if Tomlinson regains form. Tough 1-point loss to Gump this week and the decision to bench Welker for Greg Camarillo may come back to haunt the Bandits.
"I don't know if she's loving somebody, I only know it isn't mine." Wombats currently have half a game lead on 3 teams and a 1 game lead on the Bandits, but when three of their top 6 scorers for the year are all WRs and two of the other 6 are QBs, it tends to point to a lop-sided team. I know I love their bodies, I only know I don't love their team.
By the way, for those of you who doubted the assessment of the relative strengths of the two divisions, the Quakes division has one team with more than 786 points - the Canes Division has 5 with more than 800 points.
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