10/10/10 - lies, damn lies...

Well I'm sure you gamblin' guys and gals out there don't need me to tell you, but the rest of you may not have noticed that on 10/10/10, all the starting quarterbacks wearing #10 were undefeated. At one point one of them (Eli) completed 10 straight passes (to his own team!). The moral here of course is, next time there's a 10/10/10, make sure to bet all the #10 QBs you can. Or put all your money on Eli to win. By the way, can we all agree that the cornrows were a big mistake? What the hell was she thinking? Anyway, here are some other stats that may or may not interest you:

The Fatties have averaged 122.3 points per game in odd-numbered weeks and 79.5 ppg in even numbered weeks. Good news for Tim & Kumar, this week's opponents? Interesting (or not) Chris Johnson is averaging 25.0 ppg in odd-numbered games and 5.0 per game in even. Coincidence? I don't think!

Semi-R has scored 1 more point than Canes Division leaders Dunder Mifflin (11 more than co-leaders, the Mighty Turd) yet trails by 2 games in the standings. Over the last four weeks, Detroit QBs have averaged 25 points per game, tied for third most in the league. And how does this grab you: the Detroit Lions have the highest scoring team in the NFC. Go ahead and look it up. Amazing no? Not only that, but the Lions also have the second-highest scoring fantasy defense in the league. If they keep this up, they may win another game this year! Well, they might.

And by the way, I in IT's Ravens D is tied for the worst scoring fantasy D in the league. Speaking of poor scoring, the 3-2 IT have scored 353 points in 5 weeks, good for just over 70 per week, 13th in the league.

Meanwhile the Sprockets, who have as many points as the Turd, finally got that elusive first win this week. It was, of course, their lowest scoring game since week 2. Also, Jacksonville QBs have now outscored Saints QBs in three of five weeks and Coach Feldman has already laid the blame for this squarely at the feet of newly un-retired Coach Fisher.

Team Brokerage's two team QBs combined would just edge out Kyle Orton and Shaun Hill for 3rd best QB total in the league. Josh Freeman, who is averaging 19.0 ppg (12th best) remains a free agent. Strangely, Jimmy Claussen and friends (10.0 ppg) are also still available.

Matt Forte, recently dumped on the unsuspecting Natural Disaster, has 62 points in two games and 16 in his other three. Can you say "feast or famine?" I knew that you could.

Conversely, there are only two running backs with double-digit points in every start they've made this year: Darren McFadden (injured this week for the Fatties) and Peyton Hillis of Wombat fame. Hillis' college claim to fame? Blocking for McFadden.

None of the top 4 WRs were ranked in the top 14 pre-season, 6 of the top 14 and only 10 of the top 30. Who'd have thought Hakeem Nicks would be so good? Oh yes. That would be me.

The only receivers to have double-digit scoring every week so far? Roddy White (SemiR) and Antonio Gates (Dunder Mifflin), who has the second-most points of any non-QB and more than half the QBs in the league. As a Tight End. And no, I don't think he's hoping to one day be a wide receiver and play for the University of San Francisco.

Quick quiz for anyone besides Pep & Cheez: what NFL team does Steve Johnson play for? Where did he go to college? How does he have more points than Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson, Brandon Marshall and the same total as the Moss brothers? Seriously, who is this guy? Whoever he is, this guy is good!

Did you know that "Seen Juan, Seen" Jamaal Charles is trying to do something you've never seen before? That is, he's trying to average better than 6.4 yards per carry, the record of any running back in the Super Bowl era set by Mercury Morris, who has the best nickname a back could ask for. If Charles gets the record, we may have to find him a better one. "Ain't Seen"? Mercury had exactly 1000 yards rushing for the undefeated Dolphins, the only time he eclipsed 1000 in his career. He did average 6.8 ypc in 1970, on just 60 carries.

Things are looking up for P&C in this regard too - they play the Mighty Turd in week 8, when six of the Turd's starters this week will be on a bye. We're looking into whether or not that is a league record. By the way, be sure to check out the TOcho show this week on whatever channel it's on, talking about whatever the heck they talk about. I'm sure at some point winning a football game might come up in the conversation. Sometime this season. But it'll be something like "I don't understand why we're not winning more football games."

Interesting note for Team Gump's TE Tony Gonzalez: He recently became the first TE in NFL history with more than 1000 receptions and has a chance to finish this season with more than anyone in NFL history except Jerry Rice. Also interesting in looking at the all-time receiver list, Marvin Harrison finished his career with exactly one more catch than Cris Carter for 2nd all-time. The big difference in the two men? Carter started his career off his rocker and Marvin finished his that way. Also semi-interesting, 5 of the top 14 in all-time receptions are active. Larry Fitzgerald, not one of the top 14 (yet), has 549 catches in 6 full seasons. Rice played 21 seasons and is exactly 1000 catches ahead of Fitzgerald as of today. I'm no math expert, but I think if you give Fitzgerald 14+ more seasons to play, he only needs to average 72 per season to catch Rice (get it? Ha!). All that said, Gonzalez only needs to average 75 per season for the next 7 to get to #1 also, so who knows?

The Red Bandits' Tony Romo has 59 starts in his NFL career now. In that time, he is averaging about 23 fantasy points per game. In each of his three seasons with at least 13 starts he's finished in the top 9 fantasy QBs in the league. For comparison sake, Troy Aikman, in his NFL career had 165 starts and averaged just over 14 fantasy points per game only once finishing better than 9th-best fantasy QB in the league in 12 seasons. In the post-season, however, Aikman averaged 18 fantasy points per game in 16 starts. Romo is averaging 14 fantasy points per game in 4 playoff starts. Maybe it wasn't Jessica's fault?

And last and perhaps least (so far this year anyway) we come to the "whatever happened to you?" section of the broadcast. Today we focus on the artist formerly known as Carson Palmer, starting QB for Dale's Doormats. In 2005, Palmer led the Bengals to a record of 11-5 with a QB rating of 101.1 (WCBS FM New York, the old Oldies station - coincidence? You know...) I'm sure you all recall the dirty, scum-bucket, beneath contempt play of the sleazy, scum-bucket Stealers, ripping up Palmer's knee and shredding their Super Bowl chances (OK, go with me here). The next year, Palmer came back and threw for 200 more yards, but 4 fewer TDs and his passer rating fell to 93.9 (just a few points off WXRK, K-Rock, formerly classic rock, formerly home of How-weird Stern, now who knows what? Coincidence?) That was the last time Palmer's QB rating appeared on the FM dial. There are plenty of QBs who had one good season. David Garrard (102.2, nothing else over 90.1), Vinnie Testaverde - one season with over a 90.6, Chris Chandler (100.9 in 1998, only two other seasons over 84.1), Damon Huard had a 98.0 in 8 starts in 2006, never more than 79.8 otherwise, Steve Beuerlein 4436 yards and 36 TDs in 1999, Randall Cunningham - one season with over a 91.6 at 106.0 in 1998 - just to name a few of the recent ones. So my question (and I do have one) is - was Palmer just a one-hit wonder? Another "Dead or Alive"? He's got Coach Dale spinning round round baby, right round. Like a record baby... Now you'll be singing that song all day. You're welcome.