Watchdog Round 2

Not sure if anyone noticed the Red Bandits' team logo. In the wake of their come-from-behind epic battle with the Sprockets last night, but I for one must take issue with this denegration of a national symbol. If Irwin F Fletch can be held up at gun-point by "Ugly" (Eli Wallach from Good/Bad/Ugly fame), what is to prevent someone from flinging the Hundering Turd onto Dale's Doormat? Or waving Pizza Hut Pizza in front of the Fatties' sumo until he has a myocardial infarction? Or sneaking a huge cubic zirconium into the end of the Wombats' phaser and watching it blow up in their face? For God's sake, when will it end?!?!

Still, it was a great instance of backing up the bravado with a stunning upset. Sprockets, riding Chris Johnson's 35-point effort (his 4th game with at least 35 points this season), along with the Titan D 20 point trouncing, held a 7-point lead going into last night's tilt, with Kurt Warner going against Frank Gore. Arizona QBs have averaged 21 points per game this season and, prior to last night, only once all season failed to put up at least 15. Gore had averaged nearly 15 points per game, but only twice had topped 20. Things looked bleak indeed. And then came the game - Warner seemed intent on distributing the ball as fairly as possible among all the players on the field, completing passes to 9 different players, including 7 on his own team, and Coughling up the ball something like 15 times (we're still reviewing films for a final number). In the end, it's the Ugly who are moving on and Fletch who will likely have to visit his pimp again if he wants $900 in cash.

On the other side of the bracket, Dale's Doormats starters and bench both trounced Tim & Kumar. Coach Dale's controversial decisions to bench Chester Taylor and start Greg Jennings leave many (some?) observers wondering if he hasn't forsaken his beloved Vikings in favor of the hated Packers after a tortuous season from #4, and looking ahead to the inevitable 4-INT game coming this January. It has been observed once or twice in the past in this space that a team (T&K) counting on Matt Hasselback to lead them to the playoffs is doomed for failure as surely as any team counting on Mike Pelfrey and Oliver Perez to make 40% of its starts for the next three seasons. But I digress. T&K did have a snowball's chance in Arizona going into last night's game, with all-world WR Larry Fitzgerald going - needing only 120+ yards and 3 TDs - but getting 22 yards instead. In the words of Maxwell Smart - "missed it by that much." Incidently, with Shaun Suisham getting canned as WAS K for missing one chippie, how does Nick Folk still have a job? The guy has missed 7 FGs in his last 7 games and 8 in his last 9. And more to the point, why is he still starting for T&K?

In Toilet Bowl news, Semi-R just got edged out by Team Gump if they were allowed to play all 16 players against Gumps' starters. Semi-R never recovered from losing Ronnie Brown. Randy "One Toke Over the Line" Moss finally rolled in from Oakland, Favre gave a sneak preview of his coming playoff performance to Vikes' fans everywhere, meanwhile, Semi-R had Derrick Mason "the Line" Dixon on the bench. Belichick did say afterwards that Moss would get "J for Effort."

Elsewhere, Pep & Cheez bounced the Fatties from the ring, completing the Fatties' crash and burn from Enchilada candidate to first round-out against a team that had already traded away most of its good players.

Team Brokerage overcame a stellar effort from Ben, a two-time SB champion who now can't beat the Browns?!?! Anyway, they got 200 yards and 2 TDs from Brandon Marshall to stomp on the Turd. Time for a quick shout-out to the Turd for continuing to start Donnie Brown who was inactive in week 14 after amassing 5 fantasy points total in the previous 5 weeks. Thanks for playing. I know there isn't normally much available this time of year on waivers, but Quentin Ganther (21 points) and Willis McGahee (19 points) were waiver pickups late in the week. I know it's only the Toilet Bowl and I know the Turd is already playing for next year, but geez, I mean even Moss LOOKS like he's trying sometimes...

And since Pep & Cheez won, of course Electric Mayhem also won, setting up a matchup everyone wants to see - who can lay the biggest Turd (this side of the Rockies anyway)! Coach Eickhorst alertly had DeSean "The Great Gloved One" Jackson and his 29 points on the bench. I'm sure you saw that Jackson has become just the third player ever with 8 TDs of 50+ yards in a season, matching Devin Hester "the Molester" and Crazy Legs Hirsch. And as much as Andre Johnson (31 points) showed why Mayhem traded for him, Hakeem "Stevie" Nicks and Sidney "Re-fried" Rice (combined 26 points) who were both picked up off waivers, showed why you don't trade a starting RB like Ray Rice (13 carries for 166 yards) for a WR, no matter how good he is. Right Coach Morrison?