Holy priceless collection of Etruscan Snoods! The Red Bandits have done it! Let the celebration begin! Everybody, dance the Batusi!
The Bandits won 8 of their last 9 games to go from also-rans to champeens of the entire Enchilada. How did they do it? Looking over their lineup, perhaps they were better than the Watchdog gave them credit for all along? But let's not go crazy.
Certainly there were a few moves here and there, some worked well, some not so well. Trading LT2 for BarberIII seemed like a good plan until LT2 put it into gear, averaging nearly 13 per game after being traded vs 6.5 before. MBIII meanwhile averaged 9.0 per game and was benched for the Enchilada. Certainly the team was based on #1 fantasy scorer Aaron Rodgers, who went toe to toe with Drew Brees in the finals, even though Brees was playing Tampa Bay's disvaunted D. Did the Wombats over-analyze their matchups? Well, they did bench #3 RB in the league MJDrew in favor of #27 RB Brandon Jacobs, who ended up the season with just better than half Drew's point total. And while Drew outscored Jacobs 9-0, ultimately that mattered not at all. But more on the Bandits - certainly DeAngelo Williams getting hurt helped them tremendously, as Jonathan Stewart scored nearly half his points for the season in the last 4 weeks including a 200-yard and 1 TD performance against the Giants unvaunted D. Brent Celek was another key for the Bandits, out-pointing Antonio Gates in the finals. And the Bandits alertly re-acquired Dallas D off the waiver wire in time for the finals and all they did was pitch a shut-out against the imvaunted Redskins O. The Wombats would neither confirm nor deny that their offensive coordinator was being relegated to a bingo parlor for next season. At Wide Receiver, TO experienced a rebirth of sorts, averaging 11.5 per game from week 8-14. And having Marques Colston, who finished as the 10th best WR in the league, going against Brees in the finals seems like pretty good insurance against a big game from Brees.
So the Wombats gambit to win it all again fell short. Interestingly, Brees was outscored by Matt Ryan 28-16 in the finals, and Jacobs was outscored by Drew 9-0. Only Gates was worth trading for, outscoring Shockey 13-0. That said, Brees was exactly 5 points better than Ryan in the semi-finals, and the Wombats' winning margin over Dale's Doormats was 4. So one could argue the trade was worthwhile.
In the Constipation Bowl, it was Fish In A Barrell getting a sack with 1:12 left in the 3rd quarter, followed two plays later by a signature Cutler interception sending them from 2 points down to 1 up. They followed with one more sack for good measure and found themselves Constipation Bowl Champeens. And there was much rejoicing. So the obvious question, given that the Doormats started Jason Campbell (8 points) over Jay Cutler (35 points), is what the heck was Coach Dale thinking?!?!? Well, allow me to make a quick guess - Campbell had averaged just under 25 points per game for the previous 4 weeks, where Cutler had averaged just over 12 points per game over the same period. Crazy? Crazy like a tack, I think. Interesting perhaps only to me, both teams scored exactly 77 points with their benches. Evenly matched? In a word.
And finally, the Toilet Bowl - a story of redemption cut short at the last moment. Pep & Cheez, a team frankly surprised to still be playing in any game in week 16, found themselves ahead by 19 going into last night's game with only Adrian Peterson left for Team Gump. At halftime Peterson had 29 yards rushing and no TDs. But he put up 65 yards and 2 TDs after the break to break the Pizza Boyz heartz. And this after Team Gump had to endure the Curtis Painter era for nearly a half against the Jets, watching the Colts QBs put up 9 in the championship game after back-to-back games totalling 68 and averaging nearly 25 a week for the season.
So here are the payouts:
Red Bandits win 50% of the net pot (14 teams x $130, minus league fees for CBS Sportsline of $130) = $845.00
Wombats win 20% for 2nd place and 5% for winning their division for $422.50
Fish in a Barrell win 5% for 3rd place, 10% for the scoring title and 5% for winning their division for $338.00
And Team Gump wins 5% for the Toilet Bowl for $84.50.
Year End Awards, AKA the Final Insult, will be forthcoming. Additionally, the awards ceremony will be held at Pete's Restaurant in Morristown at a date to be announced. Hope we'll be able to find a date where most of the East Coast teams can attend.
Thanks for a great season everyone! Checks will be forthcoming!
Your humble observer,
The Watchdog
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