We're Havin' a (Tea) Party - SNL Style!

This week had a definite post-election feel to it, like the Tea Party was holding it's victory party in the PCFFL. The rich got richer, almost across the board - only one team currently with a losing record earned a win this week (congrats Wombats). I can only imagine how much fun Saturday Night Live would be having if McCain/Palin had won two years ago. Shall we find out? You betcha!

The Philadelphia Phatties continued their dominant performance, racking up their 5th high-points or tie for high points this year and their fifth straight win. They are the only team to beat the Turd, just edging them in week 3 (127-51). This performance, even with Chris Johnson on a bye, this dominance hasn't been seen since, well... They are Gumby, dammit!

The Hundering Turd rolled to a 6th straight win, making an astute trade that should work well for both them and I in I/T in the long run, giving up Eli the Great for Ben Green/Jarvis Ellis. This week, it probably cost the Turd high points as Wachootalkinbout Willis McGahee put up 12. Roddy White getting hurt is barely a blip for a team with Hines 57 Ward, and Muchostinko. When I look this team in the eyes, I can tell they have the legs of a dancer. Let's face it dahlings, they look mahvelous! This team is so good, their back-ups would have won high-points for the week back in week 7 and that with two backups on a bye! By the way, they clinched a playoff spot already, which you may say is lucky, but which Howard Cosell would tell you "is the residue of design."

Natural Disaster continued their wave of strange trades, offering up their only TE not on a bye this week in exchange for a WR they are not likely to need (Devone Bess), and their 3rd best RB for another WR (Malcolm "Which One is Pink") who was out for weeks 9 and 10. Despite all that, their game this week against Semi-P most resembled the one-on-one game between Sir Charles and a certain purple dinosaur.


In a key battle of mediocre teams fighting for a playoff spot, Team Brokerage and Pep & Cheez went into Monday Night Football tied at 58, Pep & Cheez with Pitt Kickers going and Brokerage with Big Ben Roofieberger. So Brokerage got a huge leg up in the playoff race in the Canes Division. But as H Ross Perot once memorably said "You can squat on a pit bull, but that don't getcha rhubarb pie." So there. Which would make Pep & Cheez Admiral Stockdale I suppose. Gridlock indeed. Very clever the way they pretended their hearing aid was off during the draft. And when they wandered off stage during the debate? Priceless. And when they scooped up Isaac Redman and drafted two TEs with the same bye week? Brilliant. Brilliant.


For Tim & Kumar, I am reminded very much of what is probably the single funniest bit in Saturday Night Live history. I have to include a link for this one because you have to see it to remember just how good it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPxPciXcJvc Now, you may not like Vince Young and you may think Austin Miles should be hung. You may not even know Danario and you rather think Snelling is kind of, well smelling. But try them! Try them and you will see, Jamaal Charles and Packers D, Louis Murphy and Chris Cooley! You may like them in a boat, you may like them with a goat! Try them, try them! It's not very hard - try them and you may like Tim & Kumar.

Dunder Mifflin also scored a major victory this week, edging the pesky Tim & Kumar squad despite having to start two players who were subsequently cut (Steve Double-D Breaston and Marcel Marceau Reece). But Dunder? You may think you're not good enough to make the playoffs, but you are. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggonit, people like you!

The other side of the trade with the Turd was I in I/T's acquisition of Eli the Great. Now I/T is not exactly loaded with talent, but they do have Steven Jackson, Sidney Rice, Andre Johnson and suddenly relevant Ravens' D (now that Ed Reed is back). If newly acquired Jonathan Stewart hadn't gotten a bump on his widdle noggin, this team could perhaps make some noise. Eli the Great is averaging 28.25 ppg over the last 4. If only winter wasn't coming on. But at least they're not living in a van down by the river! And at least they're not one of these teams:

The Wombats are a curious team. They have three decent QBs in Philly, Buffalo (well statistically) and Minnesota. They have four RBs who scored at least 13 points this weekend - Peyton Hillis, Michael Turner, Cedric Benson and Bo Jackson. But their best WR is Vincent Jackson, not available until week 12. With Jacoby Jones, Jabar Gaffney and Johnny Knox rounding out the WR corps, and no TE to speak of, one has to wonder if it wouldn't be prudent to trade someone like Bo Jackson for a top WR. I mean Bo Jackson is one of the top running backs in NFL history. You see his commercials all the time. And in video games? Wow! Unstoppable! And he's riding the bench for the Wombats! What? Brandon Jackson? Nevermind...

Team Gump had the bad fortune to go against the Fatties this week. They are 3-6 but wiht the third most points in the league. You know who could coach this team? You know who could bring this team to the playoffs? Ditka. Ditka!

Semi-P found out what it's like to rely on Detroit players to put a big win, losing to Natural Disaster with one Tight End tied behind their back. They are the 5th highest-scoring team in the league, but a team featuring Marion Barber III and CJ Spiller - and for God's sake, why is Fred Taylor still on this team? He hasn't played since week 3 and had only 9 points total in the first three weeks anyway. At 34, I think it's safe to say he's done. Please just cut him already!

Dale's Doormats put up a valiant effort against the mighty Turd. Their 88 points would have beaten 8 other teams this week, but not the guys on their schedule. Having Palmer throw all but 107 yards passing to the Turd's TO along with both TD passes made this one not nearly as close as it looked going into Monday Night. But wait! Who could that be at the door? Is that the Watchdog, telling Coach Dale he can't win with Carson Palmer as his starting QB?

Well, if I didn't have Sprockets for the Sprockets, I suppose I'd probably be fired. At 2-7 despite having the 7th most points in the league, they are far from being "as happy as a little girl" as Deiter was here. Their two best players (Brees and MJD) played like a baby's head and a toilet. Did they mean for me to scream?

So that's the team that won 2 seasons ago. Which leaves the defending champion Red Bandits, also 2-7 on the season. As a team and as individual players, it's a season that plays out much like a "Where Are They Now" episode on the Little Rascals. Sure, the Bandits once were great. Now it's "Unce, tice, fee time a maybe" with guys like Romo and Frank Gore. Greg Jennings? DeSean Jackson? #2 WRs both of them. Felix Jones? Darren Sproles? Please. Portis? Cooked. Derrick Ward? He's Shelley Long of running backs - never should have left Cheers. On a team with no stars, they needed more depth, and they ended up with none. Like Buckwheat singing the classics, they were Wookin' Po Nub in all the wrong places.