FEAR THE HEAD!
You think that's scary, just be glad I didn't post a picture of Coach Eickhorst! Congratulations to the Mighty E-Head, Coach Eickhorst and elephants everywhere. It is a strange and wonderful season when a team goes from dead last in points scored and in the standings after week 5 to the top of the heap. Much has been made already in this column of the E-Head's amazing rise from the dung heap. But consider this - when they lost to Dale's Doormats in week 11, despite getting 87 points, they fell to 4-7 and a tie for 5th place in their division. Their 87 points in week 11 tied them for third for the week, but should have sealed their fate as a Toilet Bowl contender. They then scored under 92 points just once the rest of the season and won 6 straight games. And with the help they got from the teams in front of them, the E-Head claims the Whole Enchilada!
You think that's scary, just be glad I didn't post a picture of Coach Eickhorst! Congratulations to the Mighty E-Head, Coach Eickhorst and elephants everywhere. It is a strange and wonderful season when a team goes from dead last in points scored and in the standings after week 5 to the top of the heap. Much has been made already in this column of the E-Head's amazing rise from the dung heap. But consider this - when they lost to Dale's Doormats in week 11, despite getting 87 points, they fell to 4-7 and a tie for 5th place in their division. Their 87 points in week 11 tied them for third for the week, but should have sealed their fate as a Toilet Bowl contender. They then scored under 92 points just once the rest of the season and won 6 straight games. And with the help they got from the teams in front of them, the E-Head claims the Whole Enchilada!
Proper respect must be shown to the second place Team Brokerage who went on their own little winning streak from a 4-4 record to finish the regular season at 9-4 before falling with a solid 92-point effort to the Head. A week 6 pick-up of Antonio Bryant was huge, and Peyton Hillis looked like a season-changer until he got hurt. With Addai in and out all season, their second-biggest mistake of the season was dropping Dominic Rhodes all those times. They also had Pierre Thomas (115 points in the last 6 weeks, including 15 this week) but let him go. But the #1 mistake of the season was in chosing not to keep Michael Turner (16 TDs and 2nd high scoring RB in the league) for $20. Now I give Coach Lubert crap for a lot of things, but we all make moves we wish we could take back. What makes Brokerage a consistently good team are the little things like this - with Matt Forte a game-time decision on Monday Night, they picked up the Other Adrian Peterson in case Forte wasn't going to play. I daresay most of us would not have thought of that!
Congrats also to Semi-R, who edged out BYOB to win the Constipation Bowl. Hard to believe BYOB's guys could have had worse matchups. Barber was never right after his littlest piggie cried 'wee wee wee' all the way home. As for Braylon Edwards, I think he just dropped another pass. McNabb - well what can you say? The entire team had just one TD for the week. A bitterly disappointing end to a fine season by the BYOBs.
Close, but....
For Semi-R, they get enough out of Warner/Leinart (somehow?!?!), Ronnie Brown, Westbrook and Gates and sealed the deal with the Charger D's INT for a TD. Nice for them to get a little something for a fine season.
And least and last, we have the Toilet Bowl. Congrats also to Pep & Cheez for edging out the Ds essentially on this catch by Santonio Holmes. The aforementioned Pierre Thomas comes back to haunt the Ds, who also had and released him. There was also a leaping, finger-tip catch by rookie TE John Carlson to beat both the Jets and the Ds. On the flip side, the Ds, as usual, left all kinds of points on the bench. Tashard Choice had 17, Jerricho Crotchery had 8, Dominic Hixon had 9, any one of which would have been enough to at least tie the game. And if you think winning the Toilet Bowl didn't mean much to me after all the s*** I took this season, you don't know me very well. But then, the D's biggest handicap has always been its coach. OK, time for the post-season awards!
In addition to the division title and 2nd Prize in a Beauty Contest, Coach Lubert will take home the Ditka Cup for reasons described above. 
The Bernard Madoff "Is That Legal?" prize goes to the Killer Ds for perpetrating questionably legal scheme to collect draft picks from unsuspecting teams.
The Plaxico Burress "Didn't Know It Was Loaded" Worst Excuse Of the Year Award goes to Rom Brago. Welcome back Rom!
The Jamal Anderson "Dirty Bird" first devestating injury of the season goes to Tom Brady and the Mavs.
The Barak Obama Fantasy Football Bailout Award goes to Pepperoni & Cheez, who finished the regular season with 6 straight losses, the fewest points scored in the league, finishing 202 points out of 13th place and somehow won the Toilet Bowl.
The George W Bush "This War is Over!" Award goes to Dale's Doormats, who led the league in scoring, yet somehow came in third in their division and were a first round out in the playoffs.
The John McCain "Thanks For Trying" Award goes to Brett Favre and the Walla Walla Wombats. I'm sure Coach Sharp was speaking for Jets fans everywhere when he said "Don't let the door hit you in the a** Brett."
2008 PCFFL PAYOUTS
1,820 Total Pot
130 Cost of Website
1,690 Net
Individual Payouts
845.00 50.00% Winners Purse E-Head
338.00 20.00% 2nd Place Brokerage
84.50 5.00% 3rd Place Semi-P
169.00 10.00% High Scorer Dale's Doormats
84.50 5.00% Division Winner 1 BYOB
84.50 5.00% Division Winner 2 Brokerage
84.50 5.00% Toilet Bowl Winner Pep & Cheez
1,690 100.00% TOTAL
Payouts By Team
845.00 50.00% Winners Purse E-Head
422.50 25.00% 2nd Place D1 Win Brokerage
84.50 5.00% 3rd Place Semi-P
84.50 5.00% Division Winner 2 BYOB
169.00 10.00% High Scorer Dale's Doormats
84.50 5.00% Toilet Bowl Winner Pep & Cheez
1,690 100.00% TOTAL
That's all I have for you. Now go get a life! See you in September!
- Watchdog Out!
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